Taco Bell: A culture rape
There's something that just bothers me about Taco Bell. I'm not gonna dwell much into the "it's not Mexican food" topic, since I would be stating the obvious. Everyone knows it's not. What it is is a perversion of Mexican Food. Taco Bell is an exploitation of Mexican culture. A Culture Rape: The taking of a culture's staple to be used as a personal gain while stripping unwanted elements such as the people it belongs to.
The whole idea of the chain is ridiculous, from their stupid menu to the name of their foods. Seriously, the whole thing is like a parody of a Mexican restaurant. The 'Hot Sauces' are just slight variations of a vinegar mix. The beans are an ugly paste, off which you can taste the can they came out of. And the names of the food... fuck, do they just incoherently string words together that sound 'Mexican'? "Can I have a Baja Fiesta Mucho Grande Chalupa.... supreme?" Can't you see how stupid that sounds? For that reason alone I don't go there. It's hard not to feel like a sellout bitch ordering it.
Taco Bell isn't the only fake Mexican restaurant around. Here's a list of words these types of places use in their menus that should raise a red flag, letting you know it aint the real thing:
- Baja
- Fiesta
- Mucho
- Del Carbon (fucking retarded. It's "al carbon", at least do some fucking research)
- Grande
- Border
- Caliente
Shit, for a minute there I thought I was going to have to add "Chipotle" to the list. Everyone hopped on the 'Chipotle' bandwagon in '07, even Jack in the Box. You have to be a retard if you think something is authentic because you hear one of these words. Take that shit to the taco trucks and you'll get your ass laughed at:
"Can I have the fiesta burrito, del carbon?"
-Que buey? Que mamadas son esas de 'fiesta'? A donde vas o que? Es un pinche burrito, no pa que te pongas a festejar baboso.
If you think about it, the most annoying thing about watching TV is sitting through a Taco Bell commercial. If their target audience wasn't obvious enough, they've now cemented it:
Uh, Oh, these are Grahn-day qeusadillas! Made with pahna deroh bread. That real shit. And look at the lone black guy in the commercial. Hiking in the snow with his white buddies, eating Taco Bell. Assimilation Complete.
It's not that the food is nasty, it's that there's so much better out there. Why would I go there when I can get the real thing? It'll be like passing up a home cooked meal in favor of a TV dinner. | Post a Comment