Sloth
I wanna share a little story with everyone cuz I thought it was funny, and maybe you know someone like this.
When I used to work at MCI (which was a call center), I would see all different kinds of people ranging from freshly graduated High School kids to the Lifers. The dorks, and the straight up weird motherfuckers. Since you just sit on your ass the whole time, you can bet there were some fat fucks working there whose mission in life seemed to be to push their bodies to the extreme. Then there was this big white guy, with nasty ass long red hair and hygene problems. He would always fuck with his hair all the time, more than a female. He would wear the same jacket and shirt every day, as if going to work was an inconvenience between his Dungeons and Dragons and sessions.
One day I came back from my break and sat at a given console. I waited for the next call, but soon
realized I couldn't type because there was a clump of red hair on the keyboard. I touched this
shit without looking and I got pissed. On my next trip to the restroom, I decided to vent on the "tag wall"
above the urinal. Guys would write random shit up there, mostly stuff like "This Place Suks" or "Steve is gay".
I wrote "FUCKING REDHEADED GROOMING SLOTH" and drew a rough picture of him. I wondered if anyone would
know who I was talking about. The next day I saw that the janitor had painted over it, and the image looked
very faint. Later that day there were more Sloth comments by other people and someone actually traced
the image back to life. Sloth was quickly becoming a celebrity, and the funniest thing about it was that you just
knew he would see his likeness on the wall and had to stare at it for 20 seconds every time he took a piss.
The wall kept getting painted over, and the image kept coming back. With every redrawing the pic kept
losing it's touch. That's when I decided to bust out some Picasso shit and do a whole new image. I carefully
detailed the beard and strands of hair, and the drawing turned out to be more of an octopus looking creature.
We nicknamed it "Slothapus". Damn, that shit was dead-on. That's when Sloth's brother started telling people
that that was fucked up. Whatever.
Sloth's celebrity status peaked when I made a video. The video. It's a fucking classic.
The most ironic part about the whole thing is that his brother was the "social" one, always saying 'hi' to people and shit. Sloth was the polar opposite, the only thing that united them was the red-sloth hair. No matter how social that fool was though, hardly anyone could remember his name, so they would refer to him as "Sloth's Brother". Damn, that's funny shit.
Anyway, when I stopped working there I kept getting updates on Sloth. Sloth shaved.
Sloth's going to a therapist. Whatever. Last thing I heard was that the therapy
sessions were successful and he started asking girls out left and right. Ha,
wish I was there to see that. Then there's the MySpace page... nah, it's too fucked
up for me to put it on here. | POST A COMMENT
| CONCEPT ART | |
|---|---|
 | 
|
My Drawing
(I drew that shit when I was sitting behind him, bored out of my mind)